tonight's lessons

I used to be a major groupie for one of the acts I saw tonight at a little place called the 7th Street Entry.  I still am, but a little bit more for the music rather than the personality.  At least that's what I tell myself these days.  His new band had mainly hip-hop electronica elements to it.  My love for these types of concerts is the same as when I went to my sister's band concerts when she was in middle school and high school. The draw is feeling the beat/melody permeate your body. Those types of currents extracts emotions and animates the soul.  The act that followed was also very amazing.  It played into my creative daydreams of "rocking hard" so to speak in some form of self-expression.  Lack of discipline or desire to refine those skills are prevalent.  Inability to make choices and commit can hinder important outlets or modes of thinking from developing.  Too many options to distract the mind and give little direction on their own.

There's a little idea that suggests that true freedom is actually through following laws and structures.  How can this be so?  People envision freedom and liberty as doing whatever you want, but not every choice will be beneficial or worthwhile. As I was telling a friend who's having the same problem, we often just end up feeling schizophrenic & disconnected from what's really a priority in our lives. So, at it's root, at least for tonight, self-expression comes out on top. 

Other things: I'm also learning that acting like a 12 year old can be fun (the other day my friend and I went to the comic book shop, had a battle with super soakers, bought ice cream from the ice cream truck and ordered pizza).

Old feelings can be harder to get rid of than first imagined.

& I think that I'm lucky to run into many people that I haven't seen in awhile or would like to see more of before making the big leap overseas.  Many people to love and to thank for helping create a wealth of positive and sometimes challenging influences on my life these past few years.

With the rest, I draw a blank.  It's almost 4:30 in the morning and my mind, although a little more open, is having trouble formulating sentences.  Another time.